Man ejected from hockey league after questionable hit to entire opposing team

David Kim (pictured) was banned from a local recreational hockey league today when he systematically took out the opposing team's entire unit.

Listed as a 5'10 centre, the bruiser (his teammates nicknamed him "The Pain Train") became fed up in a game in which his team was down 7-2. A questionable call by the ref is reportedly what set him off.
"He's just so quiet and mild mannered" said one of his teammates, who wished to remain anonymous, "he was always the quiet enforcer on our team, but this was something completely different."

Down 5, and with the opposing team having a 2-man advantage, Kim reportedly told his other two teammates to stay back near the goalie while he took the faceoff alone. As soon as the puck was dropped, Kim punted it back with his stick and then slammed into the opposing player with such force that it knocked him out of his skates.

"The guy was stumbling around on all fours, crying on the ice" said one witness. "Even I felt that hit from all the way in the top row."

However, Kim was far from finished. He next targeted the right-wing, checking him so hard that he went through the glass barricade and into the third row of the stands. When the opposing left-wing came to help his teammate, Kim turned and heaved the 250 lbs man over his shoulder and on top of his teammate in the stands. It was after this play that the ref blew the whistle for the first time.

"They were clean hits, but I had to stop the play. Someone was going to die out there!"

The whistle did little though, as Kim continued his onslaught. First grabbed one of the defencemen and, throwing away his stick, powerbombed him into the ice. The poor man's body half submerged into so that only his lower body (waist down) could be seen. The second defencemen, realizing the danger he was in, had already started a retreat by now. Kim pursued him, passing the opposing bench along the way and knocking every single player (including the coach) out with a single outstretched hand. Kim, a lightning quick skater, caught up to his adversary, picked him up, spun him over his head, and threw him into the goalie. The two were incapacitated inside the opposing net.

By now, he'd been assigned four penalties, plus an additional penalty for each player he attacked on the opposing bench. When all was done, Dave Kim ended the game with an astounding 19 penalties, an unequivocal record for a player in a single game. Afterward, the league president was quick to issue strict punishment. "We have no choice but to suspend Mr. Kim for the rest of the season. If he wishes to appeal the situation he's going to have to... wait, what?? He's outside!? Barricade the doors! No, don't let him in! No! Nooooo!"

When asked about the incident, all Mr. Kim had to say was "that's just how I am. Don't push me, and I won't push back."

Ed. Note: It should be noted that while giving his final statement, Mr. Kim's eyes glowed an eerie red.