Montreal woman goes for record 22nd marriage

It has been said that that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. However, if that statistic is an average, then they may want to rewrite the formula because Diana Hsiang is a major skew.

The 26 year old doctor-to-be is now into her 22nd engagement and, if she goes through with the wedding, would hold the Guinness world record for most weddings, beating Linda Lou Essex, yet in a much shorter time span.

When asked about her habit for marrying and then divorcing men, Diana seemed apologetic toward her previous suitors, yet saw no social problem with her actions.

"I don't know. My tastes just change so rapidly! One day I'll love a guy and then next day I'll wake up and hate his guts. I guess I'm just a bit schizophrenic."

Her suitors have ranged from men as young as graduating high school, to men on their deathbeds. Although it was suspected early on that Ms. Hsiang was running a scam, it turned out she never made off with any of her divorcee's assets.

"The money? No it was never about that. It was always about the love."

If one looks at her history, one would quickly conclude that Ms. Hsiang is not attracted to the "common" cast of characters. For example, her 8th husband was a professional dodgeball player convinced he was a pirate. "He was so hot! I think he reminded me of Johnny Depp. I mean, he looked so much like him, and when we went out everyone was always staring. I loved every always thinking I was Johnny Depp's lover!"












Husband number 16 was a Latvian dictator who refused to ever take a carefully crafted metal suit off. "I think that was when I went through my power phase. Power is sexy after all. I mean, how many girls can say they were married to a man with his own country!? He kept wanting everyone to call him "Doctor Doom," but he'll always be my puddy-kins!"











Ms. Hsiang's current husband-to-be goes by the name "Frank" (pictured below with maid-of-honor, Sophie) and runs a small burger shop in old Quebec. He measures a massive 7ft tall. "It's the height. I love tall men. I keep telling him to enter the NBA, but he keeps refusing. It's so cute, all he ever does is grunt at me."

It should be noted that Frank is currently under police investigation for claims of "not being human." Given Ms. Hsiang's history though, it hardly seems like that will stop him from becoming husband number 22.

Police continue search for bus stop pervert

A rash of incidents at Japanese bus stops continued Thursday as a man, 20-30, lifted up a school girl's skirt as she waited to go to school. The man then fled on foot and remains at large. This is the eleventh such incident in the past month.

"This man, he has no honor" said Japanese student Asako Tanaka. "If I ever meet him I will curse his family name!"

A passerby was able to snap a quick photo on a cell phone moments before the incident. This photo is now being posted as a warning at bus stops to alert young women to the potential danger.

"What we ask is for young girls to sit inside the bus terminal, or even to wear pants, though this is not an option in many schools. Also, be aware of your surroundings and try to ride the bus with a friend" said Japanese Bus spokesman, Hideki.

"We would also like to announce that we will start selling a line of security products starting today. These can be worn under the skirt and deliver a mild electric shock to anyone who tries to reach underneath. We also have an economy brand that works like a mousetrap."

The incidents reportedly began in mid-december when a man lifted 3 skirts at a rural bus stop. Since then, the individual seems to be moving inward towards the busier parts of the city.

"He was probably just some poor lonely guy before the holidays, someone who thought it'd give him some purpose. But now he's getting more gutsy" said Police Chief Morimoto. "Each 'attack'

has occured in increasingly populated areas. But it's just a matter of time. I have over a dozen undercover officers waiting with a nasty surprise the next time he shows up."

What was the nasty surprise that Chief Morimoto spoke of?

"They're men."

Although the police do not yet have a name for their suspect, they have made a computer generated artists rendition of the perpetrator. If seen, please call 1-800-STOP-HIM. Suspect is considered 'armed', and perverted.

Accidental Transgender

Meet Eldona Kao (left). You may not recognize her but you would definitely remember the trends in fashion she help set -- when she was a man. "He" (originally Eldon) was featured in numerous times in Vogue magazine as one of the boldest designer the world has seen and has won many fashion awards across the globe.

For Eldona, the transformation ended up costing her $125,000 worth of plastic surgery and Dr. Diana Hsiang was responsible for Eldona's transformation.

"There were like... health risk factors that I was like... I could not let him, her, leave without like ... helping him.. her." claimed a concerned Hsiang

Upon further investigation, Hsiang was found to be involved in several cases of medical malpractices. When asked about these allegations, Hsiang could not be reached for comments.

"Originally I went in for a routine check up," said Kao, "but she (Hsiang) kept on saying these things and forced me into surgery. I thought she was a competent surgeon, but I now know she's anything but."

For now, Eldona can only look forward. "I've had my nose done about three times, my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, my breasts, my thighs," she explained. "Thank the Lord for plastic surgeons, because without them, I would be nothing!" she says with a laugh. "I look at who I was and who I am now. I'm comfortable either way."

Despite all that has happened to Eldona, she continues her work in fashion and design. Her story is a part of "Trantasia," a new documentary on DVD.

Hopeful Breakthrough on Mental Retardation

For many children, the cause of their intellectual disability can be identified to the more common causes such as Down syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, birth defects, and infections – happen before birth. However, more often than not, some causes are simply inexplicable. 

As parents, we feel the need to reassure our kids that everything will be all right, but if your children are retarded, they will never be able to function normally in society no matter how much you reassure them.

For Kenneth Law (photo), reassurance did little as he lives with mental retardation his entire life. However, recent development at University of Ottawa Institute of Mental Health has found a way to allow his family communicate with little Kenneth.

For years, the Law family had thought of Kenneth as a slow-witted child who, despite the correctness savage beatings administered to him, still drinks out of the toilet.

"What did we do to deserve this abomination?" the Law family said. The belief that people with mental retardation are always happy, carefree, and content is a misconception. 

The family said Law was involved in a sock puppet incident where he filled them with his favourite snack, mud, and attempted to beat his imaginary pet to death. Unfortunately, since Law could not physically injure his pet, he got frustrated and ended up hurting himself by repeatedly gnawing on a pine cone until his mouth was bleeding.

Clearly for the Law's, a normal loving relationship is out of the question. They had come to accept their retarded child for what he is: a mildly amusing nuisance.

The University saw Law as a candidate for their behaviour correctness program, which they hope one day can help slowly introduce Law back into social settings.

The program involves achievement of obedience similar to treating house pets. It is a conditioning technique that allows the child to develop a routine through a reward / punishment exercises.

For example, if Law defecates in his food bowl more than once a day, then he will be forced to sleep outside in the rain. Or, if Law finishes tilling the fields before sundown, a piece of cake is left in his cage.

To date, studies have shown that this kind of technique improved Law's ability understand right and wrong. However, scientist are still struggling with his defecation problem.

Super hero "saves" civillian before being sent to mental institution

Up, up and away.  Earlier today, a costumed vigilante attempted to rescue a woman in the Bay and Dundas area who, apparently, did not need rescuing.

Paul Almeida (25), pictured here as his alter-ego "El-Blazo," swooped in when he saw a woman being held, seemingly against her will, by a man in a black jacket.  However, Mr. Almeida didn't realize that the man was simply helping the woman walk over a puddle.

"He was a nice gentleman" the 'victim' Emma Scott said.  "He was helping me step over a small puddle of icy water when this freak just showed up yelling out wearing a spandex workout suit, his underwear outside, and one of those mexican wrestler masks over his face."

Mr. Almeida then got into an altercation with the man, Viktor Machenko, which left her in the very puddle he was helping her avoid.  The two briefly traded blows before Mr. Machenko floored him with a brutal one-two punch.  

"I'm actually a former Russian heavyweight boxing champ" said the 250 lbs, 6'5 Machenko.  "I didn't want to hurt the guy, but he gave me no choice.  I don't know why he mistook me for a villain.  I guess it had something to do with my trenchcoat, or this black top hat, or perhaps my curly mustache and thin eyebrows."

"I guess in Soviet Russia, villain stops hero."

Police were quick to arrive on scene and revive Mr. Almeida.  However, when asked about his wild actions, the 25-year-old only uttered nonsensical jibberish.

"Did somebody say... justice!?  Evil-doers beware!  El-Blazo is here and I'm going to deal out some muy PICANTE punishment!"

Mr. Almeida then pushed aside the officers and attempted to flee in a very unorthodox manner. Using a homemade grappling gun, he hooked onto a nearby building and attempted to ascend to the rooftops.  Unfortunately, the common household string he used for the device was not sufficient to hold his weight.  The police were quick to apprehend him again and, after a struggle, sedated him for transport to a nearby mental institution.

Although neither Ms. Scott nor Mr. Machenko plan to press charges, police have requested that Mr. Almeida remain in the institution for further analysis.  

The Future of Art

World renowned artist Yukiko Otsu has opened the world's first gallery dedicated to crayon art works - some of which would revolutionize how people percieve art.

While other artists settles on conventional art style such as Impressionism or Realism, Otsu does not shy away from amalgamating all different types of art style and fuse it into an image exploding with feelings and emotions.

"This will be an art movement that will forever change the way people interprets art." proclaimed Otsu in an article in ArtReview magazine. "Why settle for one when you can have more?"

Why indeed. In her grand opening of the gallery last week, visitors were astonished by how she used the fusing of styles to fully express her art in a new way. 

Here we can see Otsu explored different themes and she goes on to explain how the art came about.

Awareness: "I wanted the focus on the face. The face should get all the attention. It is what defines this piece."

Erotica: "Cowboys turns me on. Everything about them. From their hats to their spurs, they ooze passion. The purple horse was for me, not for any particular reason. It compliments well."

Hair: "I had a thing for hair when I was putting this together. I just wanted hair on anything and everything. It worked out pretty well, but I think it could've used more hair."

Winter Wonderland: "This one was for the holidays, and I wanted to emphasize the importance of green presents and blue snowmen."

Self Portrait: "This is how I see myself and I think generally how people sees me. I am a spewage of overwhelming colours hence why I am colourless. As you can see I did not colour in my face." 

The Yukiko Otsu Gallery of Crayola Art will be open to the public all year round. More information can be found on her website: www.yukikotsu.com

Child star admits to substance-abuse

Julian Lo (left), a former child star best known for his contribution in the pop band "Rainbow 6," was spotted in a pool of his own vomit in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

When cops found Lo in Niagara Park early yesterday morning, they first busted him for loitering past the park's closing time. Then they noticed that Lo had a rope tied from his neck to his genitals, cheese in his pocket, and a sex toy in his boot.

This was not the first time Lo has shocked the media. In 2007, Lo openly admitted his relationship with his manager and best friend Matthew Lee (right) after a scandal arised from a sex tape that went viral.

Today Lo's publicist released a statement stating that the now 32 year old star will be entering rehabilitation. "He (Lo) is very confident that with the help and support of family, friends and his adoring fans that this time he will be able to overcome this addiction." This would be Lo's 5th time entering rehabilitation for his cheese addiction.

Since his days as a child star, Lo has involved himself in theatre productions and as a music producer. He currently resides in Seattle with his mother.